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Inglewood Drive In

802 12 Street Southeast
Calgary, AB
T2G 3H8

Wunder BunWunder Bun’s Overall Score: 37/100

I dream of one day owning a joint that serves up perfect eggs in the morning and crosses over at lunch to perfect burgers. It occupies way too much of my thought. Why does White Gravy think so highly of shredded lettuce when I prefer leaf? What is it about flame broil that drives Flavor Saber to thoughts of burning down his house to cook a 900 pound burger. Mustard under the patty with unmelted cheddar on top of the meat makes a unique tang across a burger experience that cannot be denied. If you are going to make a classic burger sauce out of plain ol catsup and mayo, a simple squeeze of siracha and some finely diced dill pickle can add complexity to a typical burger spread. The siracha costs no more than catsup, so if cost consideration is an issue, this is a free upgrade. If you are going to use a milder cheese then you should put the tomato on the patty, then the lettuce and then the cheese, this will allow the cheese time and space to reveal itself before the meat takes over. If the Laurier Lounge can make a burger out of fillet for 12 bucks with fries certainly an owner operator can use fresh ground and sell just a burger for under 6. Throwing a little butter on the flat grill to toast and add flavor to an average bun is a no brainer, in fact you can get an extra days life out of a bun that is close to being stale. How do I know this? Because I have been stuck with stale cheap white buns at home and was not deterred from giving myself the best burger experience despite my lack of quality ingredients.

Read the full review...

Tonight my mother in law was making burgers. I sat on pins and needles as I watched her add a little oatmeal and steak seasoning to the meat. She melted mozzarella on the buns under the broiler “I’m never going to taste such a mild cheese once it is melted,” I thought. Mayo and catsup were mixed in a bowl, “Typical,” I quietly thought. Then I watched her do something that was so seamless and intuitive that I can’t wait to get back to work to geek out with my burger boys; she shredded up leaf lettuce. So simple. Me and gravy can be friends again. As I built my burger, I looked at the tools provided me; a decent but cost effective bakery fresh bun from Safeway, toasted with a healthy portion of mozzarella. Fresh cool toppings; tomato, white rings of onion, shredded leaf lettuce, burger sauce, French’s mustard and sweet pickles. The patty was pressed with a 40 year old wooden form that my mother in laws grandmother had given her. “it used to have a beautiful picture of a rooster on it,” she said. Flame grilled on the BBQ, my father in law watched over but did not fuss over the patties. They were juicy with perfect grill marks.

I have to admit that at most backyard grill ups I choose to have a hot dog rather than deal with some weekend warrior puffing a pile of ground beef into a softball and constantly wanting me to give him some sign that it is the most amazing thing I have ever eaten. His bug eyes wiggling his eyebrows up and down, following my every bite, while trying to coax a compliment by saying “eh, eh ….uhhhh?”. But tonight I wanted my in laws to be excited as I was. I kept looking at them with my eyes bugging over cheeks stuffed with too many bites grunting ” mmm, mmmm …. Ahhhhh”.

Despite an approach and some toppings that I wouldn’t have chosen this burger was a knock out. Why? Because this burger has been made with intent and experience by my in laws for years. It was built with very typical toppings yet it transcended itself because it was built by people who cared about serving a good meal to people they care about.

I am sure that the boys will provide many of the details to substantiate the point I’m trying to make here. Inglewood Drive In, if you don’t care why should I?

Overall experience 7/10
Bun 10/30
Meat 10/30
Toppings 10/30

Other considerations
Other considerations:
Inglewood Drive In, This is not a hard fix. You have a unique location with a charming enough, cool little location exposed to plenty of drive by traffic. You are located in a historic neighborhood where the locals choose to live here because it is different and magnifies a spirit of creativity. Go home and make a burger from scratch with fresh beef and fresh cut toppings. I would be shocked if you are not inspired with a few thoughts on how your burgers could embody this same spirit.

Final Evaluation: What would you do to have one of these again?
I will punch myself in the sac if I do.

Flavour SabreFlavour Sabre’s Overall Score: 25/100

Overall experience 4/10
Warning: this experience was so rage inducing that the fact that I have to spend any more time thinking about this crappy place should result in points removed from this “burger.”

I don’t know what to make of this place. It has an identity crisis. It is kind of old timey because it offer shakes and banana splits, has a checkered floor and a cool vintage elephant, but it has no character. To be honest, when it was under old management and was a greasy side of the road place it was way cooler and more genuine.

Bun 13/30
This is the best part about the burger from the Inglewood Drive In. Yeah, the best part of the burger got 13 points. It was just there, not offering anything, just doing the minimum, holding together the overall crappiness of this product with some false sense of pride. This bun is like the unlikeable dumb kid in the class who gets all F’s, but manages to squeak in a D- in gym and is bragging about how he is going to get some awesome gift from his equally dumb parents because he brought his grades up.

Read the full review...

Meat 3/30
Hi, Inglewood Drive In lady, I have a suggestion for you. Instead of saving time by buying the disgusting, preformed, clover shaped, artificially flavoured patties and passing them off as some kind of local treat, you should take some time and think about the people who come to your establishment at lunch in the middle of the work day looking for a delicious burger. These people are looking for a break from the drudgery of work and they want something tasty. Think about how you could be a difference maker in their lives if you served something decent instead of a blowback inducing piece of crap. You could be a hero! I would sing your praises to all who would listen – instead I curse you under my breath and wonder if you know anything about hamburgers at all.

Toppings 5/30
I don’t even know where to begin here.

I asked for a special burger with a name that had nothing to do with toppings. I think it was called the bareback, but that can’t be right. In any event, it was a kind of jalapeno jack burger.

Here is what the topping were like on my burger:
A tiny bit of sauce on the bottom bun
Half a slice of cheese
2000 Jalapenos
The worst scabby bacon ever
Tiny bit of sauce on top bun

How could this possibly be good? In what universe is this tasty? Is the person who thought that this would pass as a good burger allowed to drive? Who could possibly like this thing? I want to meet the person who likes this burger because I am pretty sure it will confirm the existence of doppelgangers.

The burger was so hot on my first bite that I actually felt my stomach burning. I am not exaggerating here, there was fire in my belly from biting through a mouthful of jalapenos. Yes, acid inducing, gut rotting, and tongue melting was exactly what I was thinking about when this was identified as a local treat.

I thought that maybe someone was playing a joke on me and was going to bring out the real burger after I had my first bite, but that did not happen and the sense of rage and disappointment, like when you don’t win the lottery but have already made plans to buy that killer apartment in New York and flip off everyone you work with, set in.

Other considerations
This other consideration is brought to you by my rage, courtesy of ketchup packets.

Here is how this played out:
Me: Hi, I ordered some fries, enough for two people and I can’t find the ketchup. May I have some?
Lady behind counter hands me two ketchup packets without a word.
Me: Um, may I have some more.
Lady behind counter gives me ONE more packet without a word.
Me: speechless – standing there in silence with a look of disbelief, rage running through my body wondering if this is actually for real. Yah, that’s going to do it alright, three packets of ketchup for the amount of fries you gave me.

Has the price of ketchup gone up in the past while? Is it being traded as a gold-like commodity as a safe bet for when the financial system collapses? Am I missing something? Because there is absolutely no reason to serve ketchup in packets in a sit in place. None. GET THE DIXIE CUP AND PUMP, or better yet, the bottle.

Here is another tip, do not control the flow of ketchup. If I am disgusting and want to drown every single fry in a pool of vinegary sugar paste, let me. Do not, first, offer ketchup packets and then CONTROL THE SUPPLY BY MAKING ME COME UP TO THE COUNTER AND ASK YOU FOR PACKETS ONE BY ONE. Help me indulge my inner fat bastard, it’s why I’m at your hamburger business. Do not make me feel full of shame by having to ask you for more ketchup as I go along. Burger places are shame free zones. I should be able to walk into your place in sweat pants, with an old cruddy shirt that obviously was once almost thrown out, but managed to survive and somehow made it back in the rotation, ask for a burger and feel like I am at home. Instead, I come to your place, well dressed, and get all sorts of judgmental looks from you because I want…ketchup.

WHERE IS YOUR SENSE? Where is your pride is creating a good dining experience? Why are you guarding the ketchup? You have 5,000 packets there, I can see them, but you are blocking them with your Mom jeans.

Final Evaluation: What would you do to have one of these again?
This place is 2 minutes away from where we work. I timed it. I will never ever return to this place of my own free will. The only way I see myself eating here again is when the robot apocalypse happens and I am forced to survive on what I can find after everyone has looted the wal-mart. At least I know there will be ketchup packets. The irony…

White GravyWhite Gravy’s Overall Score: 32/100

Overall experience 6/10
Our journey to the Inglewood Drive in came only as a result of a failed quest to “Bob’s Hamburgers” which was unexpectedly closed on this particular day. Long-time Calgarians will likely re-call the old chain of Bob’s and believe it or not there is still one open in Calgary. Watch for that review soon (assuming they are still open at all).

I want to like this place I really do. The new owners have done a wonderful job of cleaning up the joint and I’m pretty sure that the woman running it is the gal that played the mom on That 70’s Show.

So I’ll give them some points for atmosphere. But they would be well served to decide on what they are – retro Burger joint or modern cafe. They’ve brought in a wicked cool old Elephant kids ride. But it sticks out like a sore thumb because apart from some old B&W photos there’s nothing else retro going on. Pick a theme and embrace it otherwise you end up just being a shade of grey.

Read the full review...

Bun 19/30
You know how someone not particularly attractive can look pretty good if they surround themselves with uggos? It’s basically how Sarah Jessica Parker has built a movie career.

That’s what this bun is. My initial impression was that it was a very good bun, but upon reflection I realize that is only because the rest of this burger was such a disaster. There’s nothing special about this bun, but since it isn’t an utter failure either it instantly makes it the best part of this burger.

Pretty clear how the rest of this review is going to go eh?

Meat 2/30
This is the worst meat I have encountered on BQ so far. Inglewood Drive in uses one of those clover-shaped patties that doesn’t even try to hide the fact that it is processed, frozen garbage. The shape alone makes it crystal clear that this meat has been burped out of some sort of heartless machine. The texture is terrible…the taste is even worse…but thankfully it’s mega-thin so I was able to choke it back in relatively quick fashion.

Ronald McDonald and The Burger King regularly get together to make fun of this meat – that’s how bad it is.

Toppings 5/30
Oh man where to start here. I might as well just list off the litany of offenses committed by this place when it comes to toppings

- No lettuce
- No tomatoes
- Too much onion, and it was diced meaning I couldn’t even get rid of it
- Too much mustard
- Not enough ketchup
- On sorry pickle
- The WORST application of condiments I’ve seen in a long time…too much mayo on top and then a pile of ketchup/mustard/onion on the bottom. The toppings weren’t spread across the bun at all but rather just dumped in one big pile in the centre. Show some damn pride.

But all of that pales in comparison to the real atrocity…the bacon.

I’d love to give this place the benefit of the doubt but I’m 99% sure this was microwaved bacon. It was chewy, fatty, and tasted like a boiled odor eater. Gross.

The only reason this category wasn’t a zero is because the slice of cheddar was actually pretty good.

Other considerations
- Ketchup packs SUCK but I do believe my boy Flavour Sabre is going to go off on that so I’ll leave it to him.
- The fries aren’t bad – but again I think that’s only because the burger is so terrible
- Service is always friendly at this place and I really believe they are trying to make a go of it. That’s why I feel so guilty about roasting them in this review. So please maybe go there anyways and try the ice-cream.

Final Evaluation: What would you do to have one of these again?
No! I refuse. I’m never going to have one of these burgers again. Not only are they terrible but every time I’ve given this place a crack I end up with significant blow-back. Sorry Kitty– I just can’t do it anymore. I’m out.


Inglewood Drive in on Urbanspoon

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