33 Heritage Meadows Way
Calgary, AB
T2H 3B1
Wunder Bun’s Overall Score: 88/100
Overall experience 6/10
Tucked into a strip mall in deer foot meadows it is hard to set anything more than a suburban mood. Touches of red and white checkered tile nod to heritage but fail to really ring any nostalgic bells. But let’s face it I’m going to Five Guys at lunch to put on a clinic of gobble with my pals. What I need is a clean table and some elbow room not a parlor to woo my lady. Lots of call out from the kitchen gives you lots of cover for the inevitable guttural chomps and slurps that accompany this burger experience.
This burger is not sexy but it fills every corner of the box a burger aspires to fill.
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Bun 27/30
This is a beautiful sweet edged bun that contently goes about its job. I swear it was smiling at me. Perched on top of a healthy potion of toppings this bun controlled the moisture balance of toppings and burger juice like a veteran. I could see there being room for a slightly more majestic bun with this burger but I think I’m reaching here for some criticality. I choose to forgo french fries on this quest in favor of the grilled cheese option at FiveGuys. They simply flip this bun inside out and grill the cheese between the sesame seeds and the crust on the bottom of the bun. Put aside the fantastic flavor of the American cheese on this grill cheese for a second, the flavor of this bun is clearly amenable to anything that it wraps itself around. This bun is not a game changer it evokes a love akin to that love you have for your partner when they are in bed early wearing flannel pajamas and nursing a cold sore. It’s a loyal bun that is sturdy enough to make it through some sloppy moments.
Meat 29/30
Once a burger joint like Five Guys figures it out it is really hard to go wrong. Start with quality fresh meat and build out. Five guys claims to not put your burger on the flat grill until you walk though the door. Must be the case as the term “dry” cannot be dropped anywhere near this patty. A wonderful deep brown sear with a kiss of salt and pepper put this patty in high marks. It is such a simple concept, how come so many burger joints screw this up? It’s called a hamburger not a topping burger or a bun burger. Beware burger cheaters the bar has been set high. This patty is so well executed that there is no place for any burger anxiety to spill out I’ll have to save my seething for Fat Burger and McMakeYourCildrenSick just across the parking lot. Oh yes we are coming for you substandard joints. I would be proud to be carrying a Five Guys lance when I run you through.
Toppings 26/30
This was tough for me. I like a cleaner separation of toppings. I easily slipped into the pile technique at Five Guys apply. This is a sloppier burger that spills over a fair bit. I want to be clear here, I said spills over not slides out. This is a more vertical burger so it runs the risk of severe slide out but the reality is that from the first bite to the last I was so intoxicated with the balance of cool crisp and flavorful toppings, balanced ratios and obvious delivery of this burger that you could have pulled a gonch wedgie over my face and I would have chewed through my own underpants for another bite of this beauty. The American cheese is creamy with the tang that bites just right. The bacon hangs around with the right smoke and salt to create a stunning subtext with the sweetness of the tomato and lettuce. The pickles are my ideal, they are dominantly tangy dill but lean into a little bit of sweetness. A healthy swirl of mayo, catsup and mustard ties the whole thing together. I have to admit at I was so revved up that I did not make good notes to the way this burger was layered. I remember the first bite and I was tearing up when I only hade one bite left. Pushing back a the tears I looked across to Gravy who was already laid back in his chair wearing a glow like he just ran the 100 meters in the Olympics. His eyes were paralyzed in a lizard trance and I dared not talk to him for risk of breaking some metaphysical quest vision induced by this fantastic chomp.
Other considerations
I was let down by the fact that Onion Rings are not on the menu. I nicked some fries off Flavor Saber and found them to be a piping hot natural cut that play nice with catsup and or vinegar. They also pile them in your order by the train load. You will not leave hungry but I would rather fill up on a second burger or take the grill cheese instead of chewing through a pound or two of potatoes.
Final Evaluation: What would you do to have one of these again?
I would binge and purge at Inglewood Burger to eat another sweet masterpiece like this.
Flavour Sabre’s Overall Score: 90/100
Taking a page out of the Wunder Bun playbook, rather than write a piece by piece review of the Five Guys burger, I am going to write a short essay on the overall experience of eating a Five Guys burger. The reason I am taking this approach is that when I originally started to write the review on the individual components of the burger I discovered that each piece was good, but not great on its own. So how is it that this is such a fantastic burger? Because this burger is definition of “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.”
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I imagine that Five Guys actually started with five brochachos who were sitting around one night, having a a drink or two, when one of the guys said, “hey, I could really go for a good burger,” sparking a conversation of epic proportions that resulted in the creation of the Five Guys burger. I imagine that they discussed at length where the best burger in town could be found, but could not immediately think of one. Then, they started to ask the very important question why, and came to the following conclusion: A burger must be made with passion, high quality ingredients, and must be fresh. Seems simple, but you would be surprised how many places just don’t get this.
The five guys burger is fresh, with perfect interplay of flavours and temperature, and is served in a place that is clearly focused on delivering the best burger experience possible. The five guys burger seems simple and obvious, just like when you see someone who is really good at something perform, like a guitar player who plays without effort, or the basketball player with the perfect jump shot, or the Detroit Red Wings passing game (take note, Flames). It makes you think, “yeah, I could totally do that,” and then you try and end up with a twisted ankle, a sense of musical failure, or averaging around 20 shots per game in your past 10 games when you are trying to make the playoffs. Greatness is making what you do look easy, and Five Guys is great. I could go into more detail, but all I will say is that Five Guys arrived in town with huge buzz, and like a champ under pressure, not only lives up to the hype, but crushes the competition by executing the fundamentals of burger creation and delivery flawlessly.
Final Evaluation: What would you do to have one of these again?
Final Evaluation: What would you do to have one of these again?
As Gravy said during out visit, it’s not what you have to do to have one of these again, it’s what you have to do to stop yourself from coming here every day and becoming a fat bastard. That’s how good these burgers are.
White Gravy’s Overall Score: 86/100
Overall experience 7/10
Five Guys arrived in Calgary with great fanfare and promises of a different burger experience. The U.S.-based chain has received a ton of media buzz and countless awards for their burgers….but is it justified?
Five guys is all about the food and getting that food from their kitchen to your mouth quickly as possible. For that reason atmosphere suffers a little bit.
This isn’t a place you are going to spend 60 minutes or more in. But it isn’t intended to be that.
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That being said, there are some nice touches. The walls are adorned with samples of the rave reviews Five Guys has received over the years. And there are peanuts EVERYWHERE that you can grab (for free) as you anxiously wait for your burger to be ready.
Five Guys has also got some of that Disneyland magic going on. You know – one of those places that are ALWAYS clean but you never actually see anyone cleaning?
Bun 25/30
This is quality bun.
Fresh, loaded with sesame seeds and a bit of sweetness…yum.
I would say that a slightly larger burger would be ideal, particularly if you are going to load up on the cornucopia of topping choices that are available to you. This bun can’t quite hold up producing a slightly sloppy experience. Part of me though wonders if that is a strategic choice on the part of Five Guys. This is a place that isn’t afraid to serve up a burger that is messy.
Meat 25/30
Five Guys doesn’t have a single freezer in their joint.
Yup – that means that EVERYTHING including the meat is fresh. In a world where freezer food has become the standard, this approach instantly separates FG from the pack.
The patties are hand formed and flat grilled. No need for sirloin, Angus or anything other kind of fancy shmancy meat. If you are frying up fresh cow it is going to taste good.
Toppings 29/30
This is where Five Guys soars and once again it is all about freshness.
There is a wide variety of toppings available, including some outstanding mushrooms. However, for the sake of this review I went traditional and limited myself to the basics…ketchup, mustard, relish, bacon, tomato, lettuce…and it was killer, topped up by some incredible dill pickles.
Not only are the ingredients top drawer but the placement and quantities are also perfect. Each mouthful contained a taste of EVERY topping and no one taste dominated another. The fine folks at Five Guys clearly put a great deal of care into burger assembly.
A special note here about the cheese. I’m not a fan of melting cheese on my burger…I find it takes away some of the taste and texture. But if you time it right – and place the cheese at just the right moment to get a little bit of melt it can be a beautiful thing. This was executed perfectly at Five Guys.
Other considerations
I’m a big believer in simple menus. Restaurants that have menus the size of a small novel end up doing nothing well. Give me a place that focuses on their wheel-house and does one or two things at a high level.
Five Guys gets this. Their menu is uber-basic – burgers, fries, hot dogs and a wicked looking grilled-cheese that WB chose as his “side”. Everything is done right and done well.
I also want to give Five Guys “big ups” for maintaining their standards for the food and the service. The organization has been going through rapid expansion in recent years through a franchising model and all too often that leads to quality being tossed out the window. I’m not sure how they are keeping things in check but it is working in spite of expansion.
Final Evaluation: What would you do to have one of these again?
You know a burger is good if when you finish you are scanning the wrapper for any little morsel, whether it be a tiny hunk of beef, crumb of cheese or taste of pickle. I would take it a step further at Five Guys…if I had been on my own I would have buried my face full on in the tin foil and slurped up every single piece of burger residue left over. I would then stuff that foil in my pocket so I could occasionally take it out and take a whiff to bring me back to this glorious place.
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This is a FANTASTIC blog. I am going to make it my mission (quest) to catch up to you guys.
Five Guys was excellent. I tried to avoid being brainwashed by all the positive reinforcement on the walls, but the burger was still great. Great meat, good toppings, mediocre construction. The fries are a silly gimmick. What do I get if I want a normal-person portion of fries? It’s a gigantic waste otherwise.
Looking forward to Naina’s. Thanks again.
Agreed on the fries, my wife and I usually split a regular between the two of us and still don’t manage to finish!
As burger enthusiast I thoroughly appreciate your site and typically agree with most of your assessments. That being said, I couldn’t disagree more with these glowing reviews of 5 Guys. After trying the new Macleod trail location 3 times, and Deerfoot Meadows once, I came away with some fairly consistent impressions.
Bun: Not toasted or buttered, borderline stale, and very forgettable and flavourless overall. Similar to styrofoam.
Beef: Totally under seasoned, almost no sear, and grey all the way through. Pretty flavourless. About the only thing good about this is that they claim it’s high quality and cook it (poorly) on a flat top.
Toppings: Sure there’s a big selection, but they don’t even bother to saute the jalapenos and don’t offer any kind of signature sauce to give their burgers a unique touch. 2 of the 4 times my cheese was not even melted and the burger was literally cold when I received it. On one visit the bacon was burned so badly that it gave the entire burger an awful acrid taste. I would have sent it back had I not already wait 20+ minutes for the damn thing.
Fries: Atrocious. The soggiest bunch of greasy trash in the business. It also annoys the hell out of me that I have pay $4.XX for an obscenely huge bag of these things that only a true glutton would consider finishing on his own.
I believe you guys must have received a far different product than I did. Either that, or the BS propaganda that’s pasted on every single surface of the restaurant is really starting to work on your subconscious?
Regardless, keep up the good work fellas!
We went to the Airdrie location once and while I’d grade it higher than McDonald’s, it was just a “good” burger, not “great” and certainly not worth the 30 minutes we spent in line waiting to order. I’ve never felt the urge to return.
Looking forward to trying Naina’s since it’s fairly close.
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