2018 33 Avenue Southwest
Calgary, AB
Wunder Bun’s Overall Score: 80/100
Brothers and Sisters, Have I had a fall from faith? Is the mana that falls in the form of beef and bun always just out of reach by a kings randsom? Is it easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle than to get a burger that is fitting of our holy quest? Does the brightest burger shaped star in the sky hang over Fergus and Bix?
Overall experience 5/10
The burger at Fergus and Bix is great, perhaps divine (to some). Burgers are not the focus of F&B, so I really did not have any expectations that they would deliver anything outside your typical pub burger. I was pleasantly surprised to have been presented with a well crafted and thoughtful burger. Everything is in place at this inn. Maybe too much so. Perhaps this is a joint for a more divinely royal client than this lowly burger shepherd.
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Bun 23/30
Better than most, but not looking for a crown, this bun does its job well and jumps in now and again to inform the texture of the overall experience. Of the Three Kings gifts this would be the myrrh. I have always thought that the king that brought myrrh was a bit of a cheapskate, but having read that when burned myrrh repels mosquitos I realize that he may be the most thoughtful of the Kings. I mean, for all means and purposes, they were in a barn and burning some myrrh would have kept the little guy off the ropes with West Nile. Well played, your majesty.
Meat 27/30
If this element were one of the King’s gifts it would certainly be the gold. I have gone on at great lengths about the merits of flat grilling as opposed to burning the meat with a flame. I have also waxed long about the purity of meat and the shortcut to flavor that is adding things like Worcestershire sauce and garlic. Fergus and Bix has done both of these and I have to admit that I dug it. This has some real thought put into it and the broil was as good as it can get unless you are willing to evolve to the flatness.
Toppings 25/30
The third king brought frankincense. As Googled, frankincense is an aromatic resin. Essentially it makes great incense. I also thought this guy was a bit of a tightwad. I mean, your buddy just laid down a chest of gold and you show up with incense. Why stop there man? With the money you saved you could have brought a bottle of pachouli as well and still had cash in your pocket.
Bacon and swiss this time. A king in his own right, White Gravy, has been speaking the merits of swiss on a burger so I broke from the Cheddar norm and went by the rule of his scepter. I was not made a jester by this choice. F&B has chosen a high enough quality of swiss, in a large enough proportion, that the cheese carried that sweet sharp bite into every mouthful. I think the swiss was the aromatic that carried this burger for me. However, I had to deal with a tiny piece of leaf lettuce and a pickle spear. While aesthetically pleasing, a pickle spear just does not work in a burger. It never used to bother me, I used to just throw the spear in the burger and hope for the best. White Gravy, sitting across from me, had taken this approach and watching a pickle slide out from between his meat and bun has made me a crusader for a more integrated pickle experience. Slices, please. LONG LIVE GRAVY, LONG LIVE GRAVY!!!!
Other considerations
Fergus and Bix you are the inn keeper. You are kind and rightly, and did deliver. There was a room available so we did not eat in the stable. In fact, we ate in a descent establishment. Clean? Absolutely. Good service? Without question. Burger? Really good. So why am I floating in homogenous state of whatever? I had better be clear here. Fergus and Bix serves up a great burger and it is worth the money you pay. The place is new looking and is a great meeting place for the locals of Marda Loop and visitors. They are in step with a great selection of craft beer; how can you go wrong? The truth is that you can’t. It is a great place, but as I sat there I realized that I have eaten here before. Not in this particular restaurant/pub/sports bar, but in countless others built the same way. There is something about the way most restaurants are built in Calgary that I don’t understand. Maybe bylaw determines it, perhaps it is limitations set by cost, the availability of materials to the contractor or perhaps it is the need for patrons to feel as though the interior looks worthy of the beige docker-esque linens that they choose to put between their butts and a chair. Whatever the reason is, it feels like it trys to be big city designed and ends up feeling suburban in the vinyl siding kinda way – not suburban in the big poplar, tree house, Kurt Russell sneaking out his Disney window kind a way.
I personally love the place that builds it like they mean it or, even better, takes something that was and makes it what can be. Im tired of the tear down the sandstone for strip mall concrete mentality. This is not you F&B,it’s me. Whatever it is, it is definitely me. Next time though, I think I would enjoy my burger better in the stable, so Ill take mine to go.
Final Evaluation: What would you do to have one of these again?
I would extend the services of Gravy, Flav and myself as the three kings in a nativity pagent this Christmas to eat one of these burgers again. Are burgers an appropriate baby gift?
Flavour Sabre’s Overall Score: 85/100
Overall experience 6/10
We’ll win tonight
- Mark Messier
Never Let You Down With The Stereo Sound
So Mike, Get On The Mic And Turn It Out
We’re Talking Root Down, I Put My Root Down
And If You Want To Battle Me, You’re Putting Loot Down
-Beastie Boys
The only thing in this world that gives orders… is balls.
-Tony Montana
Love it. No, not the balls, the confidence. The ability to shit talk and back it up. Yes, it can go against you, but the moment when you defeat a foe, especially a nemesis, and you look in his eyes and know that he knows what just happened, is priceless. How do you think Messier felt after he made “the guarantee” and then backed it up with a series saving hattrick? I bet he felt like the fucking man. Not to mention that a) it’s now referred to as “the guarantee” and b) they ended up coming back against an arch rival and then proceeded to win the cup against Vancouver in 7 games in a classic ending a 53 year long cup drought for the Rangers. No big deal. Same goes for battling the Beastie Boys. You want to step into the arena with them(RIP MCA)? You better bring cash and you better have game. You want to mess with Tony Montana (yes, I know he is fictional and that in the end his confidence and uncontrolled desire ended up destroying him, but let’s ignore these things)? You better have balls.
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We all try to put ourselves in situations where we can take part in these types of experiences. The challenge and the potential payoff is too hard to resist. Few of us are pro hockey players, rap superstars, or drug lords, but we all want a taste. It’s why rec sports leagues are so huge. We love to compete. There are a few people who claim to like to get out for the fun of it and for the workout, and that may be their intent. But I have played with these people in different sports in different leagues and let me tell you, when it’s on the line, when a big goal is needed to comeback or to put the opponent away, they all step up their game. It may not be their intent, but people can’t help themselves, myself included. The fact is that winning is fun.
Let me share one more quote with you:
No burger quest can possibly be complete in Calgary without trying ours!
This quote comes from Fergus and Bix, the first place to have the balls and the confidence to reach out to us and throw down. They are not afraid of the quest. In fact, they embrace it and welcome the challenge. As a competitor, I love and appreciate this. It’s not the Stanley Cup, but that doesn’t matter. These guys have thrown their hat in the ring to see if we think they have the best burger in town.
This is a throw-down, a showdown
Hell no, I can’t slow down
It’s gonna go
“down”
-Maestro Fresh Wes:
So, does the Fergus and Bix burger hold up?
(I guess I should mention something here about the atmosphere. Good patio, the place kind of has an identity crisis, nothing too memorable but nothing too offensive).
Bun 25/30
This is a standard restaurant bun, which is not a bad thing as restaurants typically have the best buns going. It would be very unusual, but kind of comical, to get a gas station style bun at a restaurant. This particular bun did a good job of supporting the 1/2 pound of beef while maintaining good bun to meat ratio throughout, had good flavour and was fresh. There was nothing wrong with it, just nothing that really made it stand out.
Meat 29/30
I normally try to stay away from 1/2 pounders as I am always a bit concerned about having to force down that much burger should it not be very good. After my first bite, I had no concerns, as the the sirloin burger was prepared perfectly. The flavour of the sirloin combined with the juiciness of the meat made for a very enjoyable meal. Every bite left me wanting more and finishing up the half pound was easy as pie.
Toppings 25/30
I had a cheeseburger that was tasty and had good topping distribution, but it fell into the most common pitfall in food industry: not enough cheese. I know that cheese is expensive, but it is with good cause: cheese is delicious. It adds so much to the overall experience of any meal. The slice of cheese on my burger was high quality, but it was only present in a few bites. If you are thinking in terms of cost, restaurant owners, think of it in terms of ROI – you will get a higher return on your investment in cheese if you break what I am calling the sufficiency barrier. That is, there is enough cheese in the dish being served that the client feels like he received a sufficient amount of cheese and did not overpay. This will leave you with a happy customer and good value for your investment in the cheese. Conversely, if you put an insufficient amount of cheese in a dish and fail to meet the sufficiency barrier, you will get zero return on your investment in the cheese. The customer will leave feeling unsatisfied, will likely not return, and you will have wasted the money on the high cost cheese. So, spend the extra fifty cents. Trust me, it’s worth it.
Other considerations
What is the first thing that people say when you say Original Joe’s? Two sides.
As Gravy points out in his review, there is a linkage between OJ’s and F&B. Two sides is a winning move like a quick one-two or a killer crossover, and everybody loves it, so it only makes sense that it is found at F&B. In fact, this burger has got game and ranks highly in the quest, but it did not take first place meaning that it fell a bit short. Defeat, we’ve all been there. I know that it stings, that it makes you think about what went wrong over and over, and that it’s hard to let go. But these guys are gamers and I know that they are already preparing for the next meeting.
Final Evaluation: What would you do to have one of these again?
I would watch games six and seven of the Flames ’04 final against Tampa. I’m not one of those fans who lingers on and claims that “we were robbed”. Calls, good and bad, are part of the game. It’s more how close the Flames were to winning it all. It would have been so sweet, especially to throw it in Vancouver’s face. Dang, it still burns.
White Gravy’s Overall Score: 87/100
Overall experience 9/10
If you are a regular patron of one of Calgary’s Original Joe locations, Fergus and Bix will instantly feel familiar to you. As it should, considering that one of the original owners of OJ’s is the man behind F&B, and he has applied a lot of the same sensibilities that made that chain such a success. The food is good, the service is friendly, and the environment is relaxed yet sophisticated.
The walls are covered in TV screens, but if you aren’t into whatever game is on that’s cool too. In fact, that seems to be the overall goal here – to appeal to as wide a group as possible. A tricky strategy to be sure, but one that Fergus and Bix succeeds at. It is good for a night out with the boys, or a first date.
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Perhaps more importantly, this is a place you can feel comfortable and enjoy even if you are on the wrong side of 35. When did that become important to me? How depressing.
Bun 24/30
The bun struck me as being a little ordinary. That may in fact be intentional, as this burger is clearly centered on the meat. However, I can’t help but feeling that not as much thought was put into the bread, as was paid to the rest of the burger.
However, it should be noted that the bun was substantial enough to hold up under ½ pounds of beef and a great deal of toppings, and the beef/bun ratio was bang on, so it is hard to complain too hard. Some sesame seeds would have been a nice touch.
Meat 29/30
I had some trepidation about the meat, upon noticing that the single burger contained ½ pound of beef. I maintain that for the most part, this is too much and that the ideal quantity is ¼ to 1/3rd pound. However, in this case the meat was of such high quality (sirloin) that more of it was a bonus. Unlike other ½ burgers, the meat didn’t overpower the other flavors of the burger.
Fergus and Bix clearly employee experienced team members in the kitchen, as the meat was frame broiled to perfection. As we’ve learned on BQ in the last half year, how you cook the meat is as important as what meat you are cooking. Many a quality burger have been otherwise spoiled because of a lack of finesse in the kitchen.
Toppings 25/30
Top notch toppings across the board, but F&B falls into the trap of trying to be a little too fanchy schmancy by overthinking the pickle. A huge dill was skewered through the top of the burger. No big deal, as I have no problem with placing a pickle in my own burger, but this thing was so immense that there was no way to have it with your burger except to hold it in your other hand, and take a bite each time you took a bite of the burger. Too much work! Presentation is a factor, but when it outweighs your enjoyment of the actual burger that’s a problem. Give me a smaller pickle that I can actually enjoy.
This is really the only problem, and it is relatively minor. For the most part, the toppings were high quality and appropriate amounts of each were used.
Like most places, F&B has their own special sauce, but they also have the good sense not to bathe their burgers in it. As such, the flavour of the sauce is a welcome addition instead of an overpowering distraction. Again we see that whoever is in the back has a deft touch and understands flavors.
I topped my burger with Swiss Cheese (as normal) and I’m glad I did. Swiss is a subtle flavor so it works best when a great deal of it is used, and that’s the strategy employed here. Ooey gooey goodnesss.
An egg was not offered. (a special shout out to one of our readers who thinks I get an egg every time 
)
Other considerations
One of the ideas ported over from OJs is that you get two sides with your meal. Is this really necessary? It makes it really hard not to feel like you are completely porking out. Though to be fair, the size of each side is reasonable.
Your choice of sides include Edamamae. Weird.
I went with fries and a ceaser salad, pretending that somehow a ceaser salad is actually a healthy choice. My ever-growing tummy disagrees. But what does he know?
Final Evaluation: What would you do to have one of these again?
The quibbles above are all minor in nature. The bottom line is this burger is damn good, one of the best I’ve had on BQ so far. Couple that with a great atmosphere and you have another winner for Mr. Shipley.
In fact I would “Fergus my Bix” to have another one of these.
I don’t even know what that means but it kinda sounds dirty.
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I checked out F&B last night as you fellas seemed to have thoroughly enjoyed yourselves for the most part. I have to agree with whoever mentioned that this place is kind of soulless in a brand new strip mall sort of way….and although they have plenty of local beers available, 2/3′s of them are pretty sub par. Good place to watch some sports.
What I liked about the burger: I totally agree that the ample amount of decent quality swiss cheese was the most redeeming aspect of their burger. I kind of liked the ordinary squishy and slightly sweet bun that stood up to the big ole patty and mushroom juices.
Not so impressive: Giant slices of raw red onion did not provide any balance in terms of flavour on this burg. I couldn’t discern any mustard or proprietary sauce on this beast and like you guys mentioned, that giant pickle spear is impossible to eat on the burger. Very dense and overworked patty that obviously had some helper ingredients massaged into it. It was either too fine of a grind or the chef worked the hell out of it until it was of a homogenous meatloaf-ish consistency. Biggest flaw in my opinion was the overwhelming char taste that dominated every bite of the burger. I’m not talking delicious maillard-related beef crust here…..it’s char broiled to the point of slightly burnt bitterness. Get a flat top already.
Would I go back to this joint specifically for this burger: not a chance. These dudes are putting in a valiant effort, but ultimately still playing in the minors. Just my 2 cents
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