33 Heritage Meadows Way,
Calgary, AB
T2H 3B8
Wunder Bun’s Overall Score: 78/100
Overall experience 6/10
Fatburger shows no shame in beating the dead horse of nostalgia. It kinda feels like A&W on a bump of crystal meth. The music is pumping, there are a ton of black and white photos highlighting a bunch of belt notch images that support the deep roots of a joint hat claims to be Americas Last Burger Stand. This all fell a bit flat for me I was much more interested in the name Fatburger.
The name alone implies decadence that flies in the face of good sense. Fat in this context means taking a break from the current social head space of hard healthy bodies via yoga, cross training, Zumba and Pilates. All trends that make me feel Like I can’t keep in step with a balanced lifestyle. These regimes feel out of reach for me but if you added Fat in front of them maybe I would feel more inclined to put on some comfy elastic waisted workout gear and give it a slobby shot. Fat Cross Training might consist of a light walk to Starbucks for a triple sugar, half caff, full cream, drizzled beverage. Fat Zumba might be a push up contest where at the bottom of each repetition you find your face dunked into a mile high key lime pie. Fat Pilates sounds as though it might be the dump you take after all this exercising.
Read the full review...
I guess the point here is that embracing the negative can be liberating, it sets you free to unabashedly enjoy guilty things. The conundrum is that once you embrace the negative you have to do it with every aspect of the experience to maintain the double negative effect. Fat Burger (-) + Greasy,cheesy goodness(-) = best possible burger experience (+).
Let’s belly up and see how well Fat Burger delivers on the double negative.
Bun 23/30
A soft sweetness with enough substance to hold things together. All in all pretty good. For some reason when I think on this bun as needing to be more bad to be great I am thrown back to one of the most decedent bun memories to be had – the Fuddruckers bun. If you have had the pleasure of teething through this bun you will recall a fluffy nutter that had been bathed in butter and flat grilled to golden brown. Now this to me would be the ideal Fat burger bun.
Meat 24/30
A little lean to carry the monicker Fatburger. In the spirit of embracing the decadence of a fat burger I would have liked to have seen some glistening jewels of fat candy dancing on the edge of this patty but alas it was in fact a touch dry. I must admit that since dining at Fatburger in the past they have upped their game substantially. I have until this visit been completely unimpressed with the experience but we judge on the quest at hand and they did much better in this episode.
Toppings 25/30
Gravy has fully converted me to the Swiss cheese option at burger joints. It makes me feel all grown up like I have embraced a more complex view on life and can appreciate a broader more pervasive set of flavors across the pallet. So having the option at Fatburger I went with bacon and Swiss and despite what I was expecting I was surprised for the first time in a few, eating at Fatburger, the bacon wasn’t burnt and the cheese actually found a presence within the stack. The tomato was cool and red, the onion had a nice bite and the pickle had me smiling. But this particular experience had me feeling like things were a bit too good, a bit too polished like the behavior of a partner that you get back together with despite having good reason to have dumped them in the first place.
Other considerations
I noticed on this trip to Fatburger that they have brought their prices down. As a consumer this always says to me that while you could take advantage of a situation you had no moral issue doing so. Seems a bit coincidental that both your quality and prices changed round about the time that Five Guys moved in next door and forced you to start earning your money and even more so your name. Kudos for cleaning up and and taking a shot at it but I can’t help but think that fat burger is loosing ground and are heading for closing… Hey that’s a double negative.
Final Evaluation: What would you do to have one of these again?
I would take a pilates for another one of these burgers, that is what I would do.
Flavour Sabre’s Overall Score: 72/100
Flavour Note: This is going to be a shorter and, honestly, lower quality review on account of a scheduled writing day that went sideways after my dog took a spill at the park and we ended up in animal emergency for many hours. Get well, Bowser!
Overall experience 5/10
I am often teased by friends about my old man character. I have always been a old man in young man’s body and actually consider it to be a compliment since I think old people know what’s going on. Everyone makes fun of their cars for being too big. Well, as a nineteen year old, I purchased a used Buick Park Avenue and let me tell you, it was the most comfortable couch/car I ever owned. Velvet bench seats that hug you and provide enough legroom that you can actually drive with your left leg crossed over the right are a dream. I converted the ash try into a lozenge tray.
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The reason I bring this up is that my main complaint will sound like an old man complaint, but I think that the problem with Fatburger crosses the generation gap. Why the hell is it so loud in there? The place is built like an echo chamber. I was the only one in there when I went, so it is reasonable to expect a relatively quiet experience, but the staff yell unnecessarily. Hey, Fatburger, you don’t have to yell like a lunatic to your coworker to relay an order of one burger. You also do not have to yell at me like a lunatic to let me know my burger is ready. I’m right in front of you. The person who came up with this strategy must have just watched Spinal Tap and thought, “go to eleven, it’s brilliant. We’ll do that all the time!” Bah!
Bun 23/30
It was good and did the job. Would go into more detail, but working on two hours of sleep.
Meat 20/30
I think that Fatburger has improved the quality of its meat since I last went, which was a while ago. Keeping that in mind, it’s not as good as the hamburger Hercules down the road, Five Guys. Fatburger’s meat is decent quality fast food meat, but not great.
Toppings 24/30
Good proportions and relatively fresh toppings made for a nice flavour combo. The problem here is that the tomato was pretty weak and did not contribute to the burger at all. This would be understandable if it was the middle of winter, but it is summer and this when you can really use a nice, fresh, ripe tomato to take a burger to the next level.
Other considerations
I honestly am surprised that Fatburger has survived the emergence of Five Guys, which is about 200 meters away. At first, I thought it had to do with the movie that was called Fatburger. So, I started looking it up, but it turns out the movie is Good Burger and is not at all what I thought it was. So what movie did I see and was it even about burgers? I am becoming Abe Simpson, and you know what? I’m fine with that.
Abe Simpson: You know, you remind me of a poem I can’t remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I’m not sure I’ve ever been to.
Final Evaluation: What would you do to have one of these again?
I would walk around with one of those old-timey ear horns for a day. Not just for the hell of it, but I would probably benefit from it’s use.
White Gravy’s Overall Score: 75/100
Overall experience 2/10
WHY IS EVERYTHING SO LOUD AT FAT BURGER!!!!
Seriously, if there is one thing that prevents me from make FB a regular stop, it is the fact that it is so noisy. And I’m not just talking about the fact that the staff all shout at each other, or that the music is played at a level that makes it tough to have a conversation. Visually, it is also very loud with stuff everywhere, and garish colors. Basically, this place is the Brick Tamland of burger joints
I’m also irritated by the fact I have no idea what I should tip in a place like this? You order your grub at the counter, but they bring it to you.
Apart from that there is no service to really speak of, so does muling my food to me merit some extra coin? How much? 10%? Will they think I’m an ass-hole if I don’t give at least 15? WHY ARE YOU SUBJECTING ME TO THIS TORMENT? The blurring of lines when it comes to tipping is one of the worst trends in the restaurant industry…these type of things make the customer uncomfortable…particularly us sensitive Canadians who get our long johns in a knot over small stuff like this.
Read the full review...
Bun 23/30
This bun is pretty darn good.
It is soft, but has enough substance to deal with what is a pretty juicy burger and lots o’ toppings.
The bun to meat ratio was also strong.
This is a loaded burger, so some slide-out was experienced but expected and I can’t really deduct any points for it.
Some seaseme seeds would be nice for a bit of crunch. This also feels like the kind of place that should offer sourdough.
Meat 24/30
Fatburger makes their food “to order” so everything, including the meat, is pretty fresh. That always scores with BQ, where we believe frozen meat is a sin worthy of internal damnation.
Their regular burger has about 5 ounces of lean beef – which is a sensibly sized burger, particularly for a place that has “FAT” as part of their name.
As noted above, this sucker is JUICY, so it is served in a paper wrapper…I touch I always like particularly since it reminds of Red Robins (sniff).
Toppings 26/30
A strong effort in this area as well.
First – there is plenty of choice and the additions are reasonably priced…so if you want bacon, swiss and an egg – you are in business without emptying your wallet.
All the toppings appear to be quite fresh with special points for a very nice, flavorful slice of swiss. And the amount you get is very generous.
Though I didn’t partake in mushrooms on this particular trip, I can tell you that they are sauteed perfectly and are an excellent addition.
Other considerations
Never over-promise and under-deliver. It is a great rule that can be applied to almost any business.
Fat Burger’s slogan is “The Last Great Hamburger Stand”.
A bold claim and one that it doesn’t deliver on.
For one – it seems to suggest that the Hamburger Stand is a thing of days gone by – and that’s simply not the case. There are great Burger Stands all over the U.S. and Canada – you just have to find them.
Second – this isn’t really a stand at all.
Third – there are far bigger, greasier and generally fatter burgers out there. A lot of them in fact. If Fat is in your name you best be serving up some the most calorie-infused, cholesterol-packed, artery-clogging burgers around. But that’s not the case…even FB’s name is hyperbole.
I like Fat Burger but when a company’s claims don’t match reality – it bugs me.
Final Evaluation: What would you do to have one of these again?
Fat Burger has a couple of Calgary spots – but both are near joints I prefer.
If I’m down at Deerfoot Meadows there’s no way I’m going to FB over Five Guys.
If I’m up at 32nd chances are I’m hitting Smash before Fatty’s.
It’s not that Fat Burger is bad, in fact the food is better than Smash, but the LOUD atmosphere is a large deterrent. Fix that and you’ve got a winner.
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