2401 4 Street Southwest
Calgary, AB
Wunder Bun’s Overall Score: 89/100
Overall experience 5/10
The big problem with Earl’s Tin Palace is that you have to go to Earl’s Tin Palace to get this treat. You get a stunning and angelic burger, but your eyes end up damaged by too much cougar cleavage that looks like its made out of the leather from old bomber jackets; hanging off the chests of old divorcees pretending to be twenty and looking to score with business men who refer to each other by nicknames like Ice Man and Maverick while they slop on chicken wings and perv on the teen waitresses.
Read the full review...
Bun 28/30
This high class sopper has been loved. Once you gently snap through a dark egg wash finish kissed with nutty sesame seeds, soft bubbles of savory sweet starch give your teeth hugs all the way through this burger ride. It holds up to and informs this glorious munch that is built with toppings hardy enough to have other buns aspiring to become croutons. This meat pillow has been conceived, pondered and tailored with skill for this burger. There are more sophisticated and fussy breads, but this bun is the right balance of dressed and sturdy.
Meat 28/30
My mom used to flat grill our burgers in an electric frying pan. The sear on those chuck patties, seasoned only with salt and pepper, left a skiff of savory, sticky goodness in the bottom of the pan that we would fight over as kids. The rich dark sear on the Earls patty runs edge to edge and all the way around with this same rich flavor. Pulled off the grill just as the burger is passing from medium to well, this patty is still moist and juicy which is in perfect juxtaposition to the crisp tooth of the sear. This patty is high quality, cooked to my bias and knocks at every door of my unconscious. A cigar may sometimes just be a cigar but this hamburger patty has a hold on my psyche that rattles between sweet memory, metaphor, craftsmanship and mans earliest loin cloth emotions.
Toppings 28/30
Bun, mayo, leaf lettuce, pickle, onion, tomato, bacon, cheese, patty, mustard, bun.
This is my essential build for the perfect classic. Once you stop trying to re-invent this wheel you can concentrate on the life long aspiration of balance, freshness and execution. The Earls bacon cheddar burger glides effortlessly between your teeth with every bite providing multiple transitions from sweet to sour to to tangy to crisp; constantly punctuated by the flavor of savory flat grilled chuck. I have to admit that on this particular visit my tomatoes were a day or two off ripe and my slice of red onion unevenly cut so that some of the outer rings were severed causing them to stick out like a hobo at the Glencoe Club. Given that we were eating at the peak of the lunch rush this esthetic blunder can be forgiven but not forgotten. If you don’t nip this in the bud Earl, next thing you know you will have a kitchen full of spitters and pickle bucket pissers. This burger is the only thing that inspires the strength to deal with the scent of your clientele who smell of late model emulation colognes that owe all their stank to their forefathers Polo and Drakar Noir.
Other considerations
Bacon = dry cured meaty goodness that would be missed if it wasn’t there. Sharp cheddar cheese glistening with small beads of sweat and no signs of melting would lead me to believe that this slice was placed after the cooking of the patty. Proper protocol if you want to get the most zip out of your cheese. This burger in one word – balance. A full slice of onion comes with the burger but I believe that with ringed onion, the onus is on the eater to balance the amount of onion to taste.
Final Evaluation: What would you do to have one of these again?
I would watch Top Gun on repeat for a weekend straight before taking it right into the danger zone for another one of these glorious burgers.
Flavour Sabre’s Overall Score: 85/100
Overall experience 3/10
I can’t stand this place.
Here are some tips to make you more tolerable, Earl’s:
Why do you have so many people doing stuff for me as I enter the restaurant? I can open a door by myself. You’re not a classy five star restaurant in New York, so stop pretending. These people are in my way. Get rid of them.
I know you want to make me think that the almost underage waitress might be interested in me, but she’s not and the stupid and painful chit-chat that she forces you to take part in as you walk to the table and then at every subsequent visit needs to stop right now. Just ask me how I am doing and leave it that. You really don’t care that I just hit the 30 minute mark after getting fluoride from the dentist so I can now stop worrying about ruining the application by eating or drinking. You’re not fooling anyone.
Also, why is Earl’s full of so many assholes? Get rid of them.
Read the full review...
Bun 30/30
I feel like this is a great moment in the history of Burgerquest. A true moment for the ages. I think it will be one of those “do you rememeber where you were?” when it happened kind of things. The first perfect score on a burger element. A thirty pointer. The dirty thirts.
This bun had it all. Brioche perfectly toasted with a light sprinkling of large fresh looking sesame seeds. Delicate sweet taste that did not overpower the experience, but made an important contribution to flavour equation. Served its purpose as the unifier making it the complete package. Earl’s, great buns – should be their new slogan.
Meat 26/30
This burger was made from “chuck!” we were informed by our enthusiastic server. It’s got the perfect thickness, right? And it totally looks amazing! Also, for fun, the cook flat grills it for like around the perfect amount of time, you know? He’s like a genius, or something. Seriously, I heard he studied from this super famous chef guy, but was like becoming too good, so the guy totally screwed him over.
Totally would have got like higher points if it wasn’t for saltiness of the patty. What a downer : (
Toppings 26/30
When I eat a good burger like this one, I always am reminded of how important topping temperature is in achieving a solid flavour balance and creating the important textural contrasts found in each bite. I can’t stress how important this is; way more important than anything you learned before grade nine.
The sauces were not mixed together, but were separated, mayo on top – mustard on the bottom – allowing for the individual condiments to shine through in each and every bite. It really enhances the experience. Lesson here – don’t premix the sauces on the bun, let the flavours shine individually first and then come together after every bite.
Bacon – they nailed it. At one point, as if I was saying the most serious thing to ever be said by anyone ever, I looked up at White Gravy and said, “I think this bacon is the real star of this burger.”
There was potential here for another perfect score, which I’m pretty sure would crash the internet, but they messed up on the onions. I got a few of the inside parts of the red onion, giving me serious onion coverage on the burger. Far too much, so I had to deconstruct and eliminate about 90% of the offending onions.
Other considerations
There was some slideout on account of big piece of leafy green lettuce in the middle of the burger. This led to a discussion about the pros and cons of different lettuce types and preparation that lasted for quite some time. It boils down to this:
The flavour of a nice fresh deep green piece of lettuce and contribution to the texture are strong pros, but the downside of inevitable slideout is a strong con.
On the other hand, the light green lettuce adds crunch and, when cold, adds some nice juiciness to the burger with no slideout, but is totally lacking flavour.
I’m so conflicted.
Final Evaluation: What would you do to have one of these again?
I would watch the new show “Smash” followed by the other new terrible looking one with Ashely Judd.
White Gravy’s Overall Score: 77/100
Overall experience 4/10
One of the great things about Burgerquest is that it has forced me to re-visit establishments that I have may have otherwise dismissed. Earl’s is a perfect example. I don’t like Earl’s but have heard they do up a fine burger so off we go.
The main problem with the Earl’s hamburger is that you have to go to Earl’s.
I don’t like Earls. But we all go there a lot because it basically is everyone’s 2nd choice. Think about it – when you are making plans with a group of friends one person wants Chinese, the other is craving Italian and someone else wants a steak. So you all end up settling on Earl’s.
But no one REALLY likes it.
It is too loud, the servers have too much “earlitude” and there is a high degree of douchbaggery amongst the customers.
Read the full review...
Bun 25/30
There’s magic in this bun. How else you can explain how it manages to hold together against the demands of an extremely packed burger. Through my entire meal if felt like the bun wasn’t going to hold up – but at the end of the meal I only had minimal drippage and my last bite still had a strong bun to beef ratio.
That being said I felt like to get through the burger without it disintegrating you needed a great deal of focus and in fact I didn’t put it down once for fear of what would happen. That’s too much work.
The bun itself was toasted – perhaps a little too much but I’m reaching here to find fault.
Meat 26/30
All too often it seems like a choice is made between quality toppings or quality meat – but rarely are the two both given the same due attention.
That’s not the case at Earl’s.
The beef is a huge reason why this burger is so complete. In this age where it is easy to find burgers offering high quality meat like Sirloin, Kobe or even Filet – Earl’s reminds us all that there ain’t nothing wrong with chuck. Chuck seems to have the right amount of fat to give a burger the right taste and texture.
In this burger the taste of the beef is perfectly balanced against the other ingredients – allowing you to satisfy your carnivorous instincts as part of a complete burger experience.
The bacon is a perfect wing-man to the beef. It isn’t over cooked (a rare thing it seems nowadays) and offers up just the right amount of smokiness.
Toppings 22/30
If there is a weakness with this burger it is the veg.
I think shredded lettuce would have been a far better choice. This is a very full burger – and the big hunks of leaf make it that much harder to contain everything. The tomato was slightly mushy and seemed over-ripe. To put it bluntly – Harvey’s had better tomatoes.
The most egregious offense though was the inclusion of red onion. The rings were too thick and there was too much of it. For a burger where the taste was so well thought out – this was the one exception. Thankfully since they were rings it was able to ditch the onion after one or two bites.
This is in many ways a classic burger with all the classic ingredients. All the expected condiments are there and make themselves known in each bite. Earl’s hasn’t tried to break new burger ground by including any weird sauces or other toppings – and it works. Sometimes you don’t need to reinvent the wheel.
Other considerations
- This burger looked FANTASTIC upon arrival…good enough to take a photo of and put on a menu. Take a moment and marvel at this beauty before you destroy it.
- The fries were also well presented in a nice little metal bowl. And unlike most places the amount of fries was appropriate.
- I once stole a Jack-o-Lantern from an Earls to impress a girl. Why I thought that would impress her and why I’m admitting to the theft in this review is beyond me. But it happened and I felt the need to get it off my chest. Whew. I feel better.
Final Evaluation: What would you do to have one of these again?
At 15 bucks this burger ain’t cheap…but I admit I would happy shell out a “Sir John A” and a “Willy Laurier” to have one of these again.
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I was excited to read about Burger Quest. I love a good burger but sad to say at the restaurant level they are few and far between. I have not eaten at every place in Calgary that offers a burger but I have certainly eaten a few that I would not rate as hghly as you do.
Bottom of my list is Burger King so bad that 25 years after the one on 36st NE opened I have not returned. My husband did recently & affirmed it was a bad as he remembered. I will eat at Peters I am with others but never never ever choose it for a burge; ti continually being a city wide favourite in Herald surveys defies explanation.
At the risk of being argumentative EARLS is one of my favourite restaurants with the exceptiuon of TIN Palace (just too loud) and my go to meal there is Earls Bigger Better Burger. I have never found one better tasting anywhere especially after Michael Noble added some fat back into the pattie. I don’t know whether Earls thinks it is a high end place; I go for the food I like namely the same 4 or 5 things including blackened chicken, Hunan stir fry, vegetarian quesdilla and of course Earls Hot Wings. We have been eating there since its original incarnation as Fullers in TD Square.
I did try Red’s Diner last year and it was pretty good but not Earls good. I heard that T Boone Pickens gave the burger at one of the high end steak or chop houses two thumbs up but I cannot recall which one. I want to say Calgary Chophouse but not certain. Our daughter likes the Alley Burger from Charcut but still says Earls is best of all.
People also rave about 5 Guys Burgers and Fries but I have not tried it yet. If you get to Edmonton try Burger Delux at West Ed which is good but stll not Earls good
A burger fan
Vicky, the thing about the Tin Palace is that they use this gorgeous bun that Earls seems to only serve at that location. Every other location seems to us a ciabatta bun. I would suggest earplugs and a good book, tune out the scene makers and have a nice one on one with a great burger. I may be there you will recognize me because I will be the only guy there talking to his burger.
Good call on Red’s I’m adding it to the list.
Be well good keeper of the patty.
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